a painting

Everything just looks dull! there is somehow a lack of expression in people, who dont seem to bother about anything happening around. the attitude is more careless than carefree. somehow the past is an exclamation n the future, a big question mark. everything seems a mirage n a dark veil just engulfs the cheerfulness. the self confidence on which i normally ride the journey of life takes a ride of its own down the slope. the failures, the disappointments, the questions, the confusions surface more than ever n the fear of my dreams being just a 'castle in the air' n trampling the hope that others have on me is just unbearable! is there any answer for all the unanswered questions? r all the answers that i already have make any sense? do ppl care for me anymore? am i just dreaming or am i myself a dream? am i a dream of my life or someone else's life? is there a real self of mine somewhere around? oh creator!!!! where r u? where the hell r u?

this was exactly my state of mind last evening, contemplating about everything that i was a part of! the sense of calm n quite just seemed to be a fantasy. so many doubts looming around, the yerning to just keep talking to someone and have a shoulder to lie on seemed to crave inside.... i was wondering whether everyone goes through this lonely phase atleast once in the whole of their lives at some point of time or the other. even the most cheerful should have gone through this facet for these r the times which brings back the fire inside n shapes up the person for the better! its all in how we take it. after all to face the morning the night has to be endured n it is inevitable to face the dawn again after the cheerful morning! so everyone has to endure a full day but it is we who decide whether to get affected by these or not. for it is we who make use of an air conditioner during sultry mornings n light a fire to overcome a chilly night!

so i was much more peaceful to realise that i was not the only one going through this but still....there was no certainity whether ill be the better of those circumstances which tumble me. i couldnt help but wonder how remarkable it would be to know what would happen in the future. there would be no need to worry anymore.....but here i was proved wrong! again we would start worrying coz if we knew our future for sure n if didnt reach our expectations then we would worry more about our powerlessness to change everything. the bliss of fantasy would be lost forever n ever. even if it reached our expectations after all, the human in us would plead for more. at the end the excitement is lost n the life of life itself starts rejecting life.

ok so again ya......there is no need to know the future,but do things go about as already planned by someone else above us n do we have a say at all about what is happening or am i responsible for everything happening around? am i the creation of consequences or do i create my consequences?

an artist almost always prefers to start his work on a fresh piece of canvas or anything that has some space to enclose his work. so if iam the artist n if i was able to paint, then it means ive definitely been given a canvas to do my painting n not just anyother canvas but a blank one where its me who decides how iam painting it. but am i 'the artist' or 'the art' when it comes to life???? i guess that is where we fuse into 'one' n create a master piece of our own which is by us, for us n to us.

just enjoy life n be a master piece :)