If God is not real, Wat in life is?!
The one memory of Him that i remember from my first ten yrs of life was during one of my birthdays.. My mom gave me a wash n made me wear my new clothes n said, "we r going to meet God!" I cldnt believe God was just the piece of stone that everyone was bowing to.. but i loved the sound of those bells!! In fact, i ran from one end to the other end of the temple.. I jumped up to reach n ring the bell so many times n the old pandit commented wid a smile! "The God sitting in the sky has heard u ma, now stop!!" Hmmm, thought my mind.. God stayed in the sky.. Sky is there all the time n it is everywhere! So He too must b present everywhere all the time!! The syllogism was permanently put in place within my head..
From that day onwards, the adults in my house seemed precoccupied wid life.. but life was all that preoccupied me.. I wondered, sitting alone on my terrace, who made the beautiful sea? n.. n.. who made the waves dance?! also, who made sure the waters shld stop at a particular place.. just a lil beyond our locality, so that we never got drowned!?
Where did night go when day came? If the sun gives our universe light, who gives the sun the light?? Wat glue is used to stick the stars in the sky, n then suddenly, y, oh y, does one of them fall sometimes??? N the simple answer to all this was Him.. Yes.. Who else but Him!!?? He was a superpower to me.. My God was real.. If he wasnt, then who had created everything n who took such great care of everything???
He became a need when i entered adolescence.. I needed him!!! Especially that night when we went for a wedding n an uncle commented, "Archith wont have a problem wid his wedding but u r so dark n ugly. who will marry u?".. Especially when my friends told me i wasnt speaking articulate english then to b friends wid them.. Especially when to b accepted in a group i would need to b all kewl n hip n i had no clues how.. Insecure abt everything, the only thing that kept me going was the security that there was someone called God who loved me as i was. He was real.. If he wasnt, who was He, who told me am amazing just when i needed it the most??
The professional world made Him a necessity too.. While i was working for this MNC when i didnt know head or tail of anything n it was a wild goose chase.. Especially when i had to change my line of profession n all the insecurities that followed wid it.. In this constant change, all that constantly remained unchanged was Him n i felt grt relief in going to Him at the end of the night n asking him to take care of me.. God was real..
The defining moment in my rship wid Him came when mom was lying in the hospital n i was left at home, alone to myself.. pacing up n down, not knowing how to handle my frenzzied thoughts n me.. I wondered.. cldnt i just go to sleep n wake up to find that this was a nightmare? I knew i wldnt b able to live even a moment widout my mom.. she was EVERYTHING to me.. wat wld i do if something happened to her? n then i heard his voice.. I wondered if i was hallucinating when someone whispered in my mind n said.. "I am wid u, now n forever n thats all u need to go on with life."
I felt such security, such peace in those moments that i knew i wld b able to take whatever life handed to me coz.. life was itself wid me! I was prepared for the best.. n the worst!! when i recieved a call from Appa.. Mom had woken up n Appa was all smiles..
God was real.. If he wasnt, then who had gently reminded me of his presence??
Everything that has happened in my life since then - the good, the better n the best, has been the fringe benefits of realising that He is the real force pulsating within my life.. Everything in my life has happened coz He is as real to me as is my name, my face or these words..
When i throw my hands up in frustration, He takes them in His own n tells me its ok!
When i extend my hand towards him, he is quick to tell me he is there for me..
When i hold my hands up in gratitude, he sits right next to me n tells me he loves me!
N in those moments of absolute silence, when i fold my hands in prayer, he hugs me so intimately that i forget where he ends n where i begin!
My God is real!
P.s. Thank u Megha Bajaj for mirroring my thoughts so well, that i had to borrow a lot of ur skeleton, flesh n blood!
