Sunday, September 30, 2007

My Life: A Current Report

The only worst thing that cld happen to a woman of all things, is sporting a bad haircut tat makes her have a bad hair day... just every other day...

A woman with curly, bushy n unreasonably thick hair should always think twice about the kind of haircut she sports... it is also a kind of challenge for the hair dresser to bring out the best texture of that kind of hair through her cut... Well, having the best haircut once from that place convinced me to try it again... n now my hair can neither be tied to hide it from others' eyes, neither cld it be left free at an attempt to flaunt it!

Unfortunately for me, i had the sense to go n give my head to a lady, who i found out later, should have been the official trimmer for all those lions (male of the species) in the zoos... n sometimes by request, even the wild ones in the forest... lol.. n now her expertise has made my hair remind ppl of the mane of a lion!!!

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have u ever witnessed a soul leaving the body? if u have, then u might have a clue what exactly am talking about...

one of these days, while i was assisting my dad for those interviews to be taken, i noticed a small round fish pot, with 3 fishes swimming round n round inside it... n those werent tiny gold fishes but 7-8 inches long... the reason y gold fishes survive in such a small pot is because they have spot amnesia... for the gold fishes, each time they look at something outside, is again new the next they see it... n they r tiny as well, so the oxygen content is quite abundant...

But these fishes cldnt survive it, n i noticed them coming to the surface n trying to breathe in the extra oxygen... at that time i cldnt realise this n that they were actually steadily dying... i just kept looking at them for sometime n went about carrying my work...

Then, while the 1st interview of the day was going on, something made me stear my eyes to the fish pot... there he was a few seconds earlier at the surface of the water, trying to take in oxygen... a tiny swoosh n a round... as simple as it was, he stopped for a micro second n his body, as majestic as ever, fell down to the bottom of the pot...

it all happened in just a few seconds n that sight will never leave me till i reach my death bed... n i feel solely responsible for the death of that fish... which cldve been alive now, if only i had stopped to notice wat was really happening...

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my sil's friend gave birth to a baby girl yday... we had gone to see her today... the baby so tiny, so soft, so pink, so fragile just took my heart away...

Ive never seen a 1 n a half days old baby before... the baby had more hair than i cldve expected on a new born, pink pink n more pink everywhere... tiny closed eyes with lashes... a tiny nose... lips as red as wine... i cld even see her tiny blood vessels running haywire under her skin... n her skin by itself was softer than the finest cotton...

Seeing such a tiny thing, that has just come to life outside its mother womb, n how big she is gonna grow in just a few decades took my breath away... how cld such a small fragile thing grow so big n strong??

hmmm... how more beautiful cld existence get!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

you

We, on a broader perspective, enter this life with nothing n depart it with nothing... but what makes our lives worthwhile to live during this time in between are the people that we come across... look at it this way! millionaires are not gonna try earning so much if it really didnt matter much to others how rich they r... success is just a matter of comparative study... I, for one, care a damn about the society... frankly, TO HELL WITH THEM... though i do have sense enough to realize that i am society to so many others... but even if i had a shroud of consideration for this system, it is solely bcoz of those who r really near n dear to me...

Everyone has shortcomings... n so do i! n that is my ability in always failing to express how i truly feel about those that r near n dear n matter a lot to me...

This post is for those people who have not only been in my life but have also managed to make a considerable change in it... i accept am def not in contact with each n every one of them... but still, their memories, sweet or bitter, have always taught me the different flavours of life n eventually have helped me add yet another dimension to the way ive looked at things...

Disclaimer: Thanks raji for this wonderful idea of urs, which am shamelessly flicking!

YOU: r the reason y am here... i have spent most of my time with u, an extra 10 months on that... u've been my constant source of support all the while... u even have proof of me using u as a punch bag from my age of 2... the amount of love n affection n care that u have showered me with all this while is one reason i even have an idea what real caring is all about... i might not have told u how much u mean to me... n i guess even if i tried i wldnt find those words... but being what u r, i hope u know the power of those unsaid words than being said afer all...

YOU: r again the reason y am here... ur ability to effortlessly juggle all ur roles in my life is par comparison... u r one person whom i constantly try to make me understand though u r the one person who has completely understood me... ur way of caring for me has always been different... but that difference has wat made me the person that iam today... u being the pillar of my life, i neednt even go out of my way to explain wat u r to me, for u urself know it... i wish i cld be exactly like u in a completely different way...

YOU: r my twin with quite an age gap... i dont know which one of us is eviler than the other, but thats wat i think, makes me look upto u... i feel u r the epitome of balance... n that very balance has helped me immensely to make my life wonderful... life without u is utterly unimaginable n i confess ive been fortunate enough to have u... i know i still follow u like how a puppy follows its mum sometimes... but yes, uve been more than a sibling n most so my friend...

YOU: r one of the very few that i connected with instantly... though i might still not know u completely, uve been the sister that i never had... am surprised how easy it is for me to share my darkest secrets with u as if we've known each other for decades, where it has just been a couple of yrs... ive learnt a hell of a lot from u which u might never realize... but, u r one person that i always look fwd to spend time with anytime, any day...

YOU: were my first official friend... we were in the same class from our KGs to class 9... wats more, we even shared the same rickshaw n were quite inseparable for sometime... i dont know y, but when there was a point in our school days where academics mattered most than anything else, i started sensing the gap that was falling between us bcoz u were the brightest in the class n i was scrapping hard to even pass... n imagine all those new friends around u... things did start taking its own course after a while n there were times we were loggerheads... n we r hardly in touch with each other now... but nonetheless, i still remember vividly so many of our conversations n the times that we spent together that it still makes me smile... u share a huge part of my childhood days

YOU: were the new girl in school... i have no clues how we started our first conversation... though i do remember u sitting in the first bench n lookin considerably lost... i guess we spoke during one of those sanskrit classes where our famous 'prof' was positively trying to make a big fool out of himself trying to impress the girls in his class or somethin like that.. but i do remember very well the first time u requested me n my friend whether we cld walk back home from then on... i never knew then that u wld be one of my best friends afterwards... wat fun it used to be, sitting on ur sofa n the 3 of us chatting non stop abt everything under the sun!? miss u!

YOU: were my first crush... i have nothing more to say abt u coz i knew nothing else abt u!

YOU: were my only ray of hope in class 10... that time when i shifted my school, i was even more lost than i rightfully shld have been... wat with the new environment, new culture n literally new everything... while i was thinking it was going to be a new beginning, i was right indeed... a splendid beginning for a nightmare... thanks to u, the blow was not as harsh as it mightve been... i consider a person is true when they stick around when there is no one else to... u did that to me...

YOU: were the anchor that saved a ship from crashing... or thats how i still see u... though i might not be open abt a few things, i observe the smaller things in life with quite an interest... a welcome hug cld by far be the most common thing on earth... but that day the hug that u gave me was equal to saving someone's life... i cld even call u my good luck charm! again, new friends n new lives change lots of things between friends... but am ashamed it has left a mark on ours too...

YOU: used to be my subject for contempt once upon a time... but now u r my bestt friend... one person who is more family to me than a friend... how many times have we spoken whole nights off? if i did have a sister, then it mightve rather been u... our tastes, our views n our very lives revolve around each other... unlike many others, we really dont have to be in constant touch to be close to each other... one call is enough to tighten our bond... i accept we might have whole lot of issues that r not discussed n that we r not pleased abt with each other... but thats makes u the person that u r n u r one of the most important ppl in my life...

YOU: were the crazy idiot that used to confuse me all the while in school... though things became as clear as crystal later, i wld never forgive u for confusing me so much!!

YOU: & i were very close during college... i thought u were one of those girls who were genuine at heart n hard to come by... wat made u think u shld betray me?! i still do feel i mightve been a tad judgmental n totally unfair in not hearing ur side of the story... makes me wonder whether wat i did was right afterall... or maybe wrong!

YOU: r a kid. u r mature. u r stupid. u r bloody clever. u annoy me to no ends. i dont know wat ill do without u... u end up talking me out of my blues n annoy me more in ur attempts to reach me that time. both of us r strikingly similar in 1 thing... our ability to be constantly in touch but not so much though to choke each other... we might be so close due to lots of reasons that i cant put my fingers on... but my life is definitely incomplete without u being there...

YOU: were the first person that i spoke to during that first morning at college... n i was the first spoken u spoke with as well... that day or even during our days in college, i never realised we wld get as close as we r now... reason being we werent in the same class n nor in the same group... we used to be bus mates n yes, how cld i forget our light music gang!? i guess we started knowing each other only after we passed out... i accept, u r my first self-confessed sweetheart! :)

YOU: were forever diplomatic... something i myself am most often... both of us admired each other for wat we were... u were forever calm n composed but super fun to be around... i wonder wat cld be done to make u lose that cool of urs n act like a normal person... someone that was being fought over by 2 people... consequently, it even ended up counting to 3 n then to my surprise 4... wat were these ppl thinking? :)

YOU: were the math teacher that i used to look fwd to being taught... i def am not understating ur skills as a teacher but u were somehow most unpredictable during those times... maybe, thats wat made me wonder wat u really were n even prompted me to invite u for our college cultural as a judge... we were good friends indeed but makes me wonder y u started acting funny...

YOU: were my colleague at office... the only girl other than me in the vicinity... i cant imagine my life in that place without u being there during those times... how cld i forget those matchstick games n lovely lunches? well... for the others tat might be surprised... thats exactly wat we did most of the times... now both of us r out n r in search of our destinies... but temme! when the hell r we gonna catch up for that coffee we promised each other!?

YOU: were the person of first times... though the way we met might be bizarre, it used to be an absolute roller coaster ride while we got to know each other... someone who taught me the meaning of happiness n joy with sorrow n hurt at the same time... all that while before, all those emotions remained quite superficial to me but i did manage to convince myself that it still is superficial indeed... time changes perspectives for nothing but patience as its payment, doesnt it? but that doesnt change the fact that no one else cldve taught me life better than u did, where i think it was already quite late i started learning what it was... am absolutely grateful for that, from the bottom of my heart!

YOU: came into my life through another college mate... surprisingly, another diplomat to the t that u r, we get along absolutely fine... the concept of ego is quite non existent in our case which is quite new to me... one thing that i always think abt when u come to my mind is home sweet home... we can talk about anything n everything under the sun from utter nonsense to super mind blowing concepts... being the fighter cock that i cld be sometimes, i still am mildly surprised that we havent fought even once till now (touch wood)... kudos to u!

YOU: r one absolute enigma! wat interests me most abt u is that i cant read u at all.. i do sometimes end up thinking that we r a lot more similar than i thought we were... of all the miracles in the world, i came fwd to make friends with u... n i absolutely am glad that i did... for one, ur support... two, ur frankness... three, the moron that u really r...

YOU: r quite a professional mentor n a dear friend... ive always appreciated intelligence, tact, goodwill n integrity... u r one of them with all that n more... if not for u, i may very well be running around without quite a sense of direction... but it really is not the brake that am concerned about, but the kind of exposure u managed to give me in that short while... ur modesty n diplomacy r somethings that i still am in awe of!

YOU: r someone that changes like water... water never remains the same during one time from the other... it keeps flowing from somewhere to the other, taking all kinds of shapes in its course to find the ocean... without water life on earth is impossible... without that you in me, i will never understand the reason y iam what iam... i mention u at the very end not bcoz i found u just now, but bcoz ill keep finding u every other second!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Ugly Ducklling


What difference does it really make whether u r a duck n be normal or be a swan n be extraordinary or remain an ugly duckling forever n be wierd!?

Does it even make a difference?

Whatever it may be, does it all not make a difference only when the other person sees? wld a blind man know or even care about the difference?

Then y do i care?!