Thursday, December 29, 2005

baby's day out

WOW......what a movie!!!!??? one of the best that ive come across with the simplest of plots added with some real good humourous scripts! it got released some where around 1994 but thanks to 'star movies' for making it so highly popular! during that point of time everytime i used to switch on the tv n go to 'star movies' either it was mask or baby's day out running in the channel! they really REALLY made those movies popular huh? great going guys :)

so the story starts this way......the baby of a business tycoon is kidnapped n the story depicts how the baby actually gets to experience everything that he has seen in his baby bink book n how he manages to escape n get the criminals caught!

to begin with.......he is the cutest baby that ive ever come across n seriously did a great job! but coming to the characters, my fav is eddie (the bruenette) starred by "Joe Mantegna"! wasnt he just too good? :)))))) his every action n reaction were really notable! very minute but it did change the colour of the movie! the others were norby (the bald one) starred by "Joe pantoliano".......was he just dumb or what? n then there goes veeko (the........well u know right?) starred by "Brian Haley"!

but most of the credit goes to the direction by "Patrick Read Johnson" n the writing credits goes to "John Hughes"! some of the best lines were...

[Eddie's pants were on fire, and Veeko stomped on the fire to put it out]
Veeko: That's how you put out campfires.
Eddie: Is that... a fact?
Veeko: Used to do it in boy scouts.
Eddie: You toasted your marshmallows... over a pile of flaming GONADS?
Veeko: We usually used logs.

[Baby Bink just got a way from the villains again ater many times, but this time by crawling into a small sewer tunnel]
Veeko: No problem, fellas. It ain't a hole. It's a tunnel. And what's every tunnel got?
Norby: Ooh! Don't tell me! I know, I know, I know. It's uh, uh, uh - - ...
Veeko: Tollbooth at the end.
Eddie: Are you always this stupid, or do you do this just to annoy me?

real funny huh? :)))))

u dont find it funny :O.......then somethings wrong with u or u didnt watch the movie which again means somethings seriously wrong with u! u better go to the nearest CD rentals n check out this film......:)

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

the green grass theory

all of a sudden the grass on the other side seems to be greener! my brain knows its just a trick of my eyes but my eyes fail to realise that they r after all cheating each other. each one believes in what they see forgetting where they r! it'll just take a minute to look down n realise that the grass on which we r standing is also green.....maybe close-up it might be a different shade but still green is green!

i guess the term 'unique' has lost its value all of a sudden! everyone wants to be everyone, everywhere! creating an impression has become so important that the art of expression is lost. i have no intentions of generalising what i think but still there r just a handful who does the trick. this is phenomenon exists everywhere starting from a person below the poverty line to a highly successful business tycoon! a labrourer with daily wages wants watch a movie in a theatre with his loved ones to forget all his worries of they day for a couple of hours. where as the producer of the same movie commits suicide bcoz the returns were much lower than what he had expected! so tell me whoz happy here? the labrorer who is doubtful about his next meal or the producer who has too much that he is scared to lose everything! hmmm......what an irony *sighs*........

its just so hard to define happiness.......bcoz the minute we start doing that, we could be rest assured that it is literally lost. happiness has to be raw. undiluted. naked. primal. just PURE.......when we r capable of defining our happiness with a reason, that kind of happiness is short lived. when there is no reason to dilute our happiness it stays longer. whatever happens happiness still prevails coz we dont need a reason anymore! i could rather say everytime we have a reason to be happy, we just cling to it, wishing it stays longer. ya so whats wrong with that? whats wrong with wanting something to last longer?

ok incase the person u like the most gives u a hug, ull be very happy at the beginnng for its just wonderful to share the feeling of love n to be encapsulated in that moment......lets assume u r still in that tight embrace but that person is not leaving u n it has already been 2 minutes since u hugged! though u might reciprocate there r chances of u feeling uncomfortable also! ok so it has been 15 minutes now n u r still in that very same tight embrace n that person is not leaving u! ull start suffocating n wanna breathe in some oxygen n so will automatically start fighting that person to leave u! for all we know u might even call the police....:)

so what was happiness in the beginning became a nuisance at the end. if the hug had been short lived, the meaning of that moment would have been in ur heart for the rest of ur life! but since there was a cling to it, it was lost! thats the same with happiness. the minute we start clinging,it naturally transcends itself to sadness!

so now am happy not bcoz u actually managed to read the full blog, not bcoz u r gonna pass a comment, not bcoz there r chances of this having a profound effect in ur life.........but bcoz iam happy for what iam n the grass in my side might not necessarily be greener but it definitely serves some purpose when it is in my side :)...

hey but what if the grass on my side is actually blue....... :S....well its high time u celebrate it rather than getting confused bcoz ur friends on the other side r actually wondering whats wrong with them n not u... :P

Sunday, December 25, 2005

shopping, SHOPPING, SSSHHHOOOPPPIIINNNGGG

oh the past few days has really been hectic! ya totally busy with shopping! waoh.......so big a shopping that am sure i managed to put a BIG hole in my father's pocket as well as mine! somehow shopping for a girl is a never ending processs i guess bcoz how much ever we shop there is something or the other pending! but am atleast happy that its kind of a purposeful shopping coz its basically for my office wear! formals, salwars, foot wear, bags.........it looks like as if its been ages since i shopped! so much to buy! n iam proud to say that i spent more than my 2 months salary n its only been 2 months since i started working :)....

the most affected person in the post shopping phase-more than my father, it was my brother! somehow the first time i showed him all those pretty salwars n foot wears, he was just highly shocked! he even kind of believed me when i told him that i purchased all these to open a shop! :)

so this made me wonder the difference between a man n a woman when it comes to shopping! this definitely excepts my dad coz i think he is one person who loves shopping both for himself n for others! i mean i just love going out for shopping with him coz i almost always end up purchasing more than i intended to buy :)......guess am lucky! but when it comes to other men......uffffff so much of fuss just for a little bit of shopping! i dont know what pains them so much to give a suggestion......its either "everything just looks great on u" or "i dont think the shop has anything good".....u can never catch them giving a mediocre answer! but sometimes cant blame them coz the things that women buy should be greek n latin.......what with all the accessories n everything :)......

but its not only the suggestions that the men r bored off but they r just repulsive to the very term "shopping".........they somehow consider shopping a big waste of time n i wonder y coz they definitely like the women around them, their mum, wife, sister, fiancee, friend n just everyone to be well dressed! y r men not interested to shop both for themselves n also for others? is it bcoz they just dont have enough variety so they r just not bothered about it or the men of the species just have it in their gene not to shop too much.......

i guess all we could do is wonder when they'll change...!:)

Thursday, December 22, 2005

death - whats that?

today was one of those days where i wanted to indulge myself in a good bout of sensible reading........as soon as i went near my own small library at home the heading "TAO" caught my eyes. i guess it was obvious bcoz the book was quite new n the words were also beautifully embeded on a rich gold background. i was still quizzical for a couple of minutes whether it was cardinal to start with such a heavy book after a tiring day in the office added with the heavy gyming! but i guess sometimes it is always better to give in to the instincts. i already had some idea about the concept tao but still i was baffled to find that the chinese culture also had such indepth meaning in them. forgive me for blogging another heavy subject n such a long one at that but still........if u r not in the mood u could always go back!

ok coming back to tao! what is tao? tao is basically "oneness"!i mean it is just unfair to describe such a huge subject in just one simple word but that one word is the raw essence of tao. u r one with everything inside n outside u. n everything around u also becomes 1. all of a sudden its just one thing that matters the most n thats only life. while reading the book the first thought that came to my mind was "if everything is one then what about life n death? r'nt they as different as night n day?" well.........i was stunned to realise the ultimate reality....

what is death? death is destiny. it has to be bcoz death is the origin - we come from death n we go to death. life is just a moment between 2 nothingnesses, just a flight of a bird between 2 states of non being. if death is destiny, as it is, then the whole of life becomes a preparation for it- a training, a discipline in how to die rightly n how to die totally n utterly. the whole of life consists in learning how to die. but somehow a wrong conception about death has entered the humanity, the conception that death is the enemy. this is the basis of all wrong conceptions, n this is against the eternal law, the tao.

man has taken death as the enemy of life-as if death is there to destroy life, as if death is against life. if this is the conception then of course we have to fight death, n life becomes an effort to survive against death. then we r fighting against our own origin n we r fighting against our destiny. then we r fighting something that is going to happen. the whole fight is absurd bcoz death cannot be avoided. if it were something outside us, it could be avoided, but it is inside. we carry it from the very moment we r born. we start dying really when we start breathing, at the same moment. it is not right to say that death comes in the end, it has always been with us from the very beginning. it is a part of us........it is our innermost centre. it grows with us n one day it comes to a culmination........one day it comes to flowering. the day of death is not the day of death's coming, it is the flowering. death was growing within us all this time, now it has reached the peak; n once death reaches a peak we disappear back into the origin.

but ppl around have a taken a wrong attitude n that wrong attitude creates struggle, fight, violence. a man who thinks that death is against life can never be non-violent. it is impossible.....a man who thinks death is against life can never be at ease, at home. that is impossible. how can u be at ease if the enemy is waiting for u any moment? it will jump on u n destroy u. how can u be non-tense when death is waiting around the corner n the shadow of death is always falling on u? it can happen any moment. how can we rest when death is there? how can we relax? the enemy wont allow us to relax.

hence the tension, the anxiety, the anguish of humanity. the more we fight with death, the more anxiety-ridden we'll become, we r bound to become. that's a natural consequence. if we fight with death we know that we r going to be defeated. how can we be happy with a life that is going to end in defeat? deep down we r certain about only one thing n that is death. in life everything is uncertain, only death is certain. there is only one cetainity n with that we have an enemity. how could be fight with certainity n still hope for uncertainities? how can we be relaxed, calm, collected? impossible........

if death is the enemy, then basically the whole of life becomes our enemy. then every moment, everywhere, the shadow falls; then in everywhere death echoes. the whole life becomes inimical, n we start fighting. once we understand that death is not the opposite of life but part of it, an intrinsic part of it, which can never be seperated from it-once we accept death as a friend, suddenly a transformation happens. n no kidding or the 'holier-than-thou' attitude here but truely a calm comes in. now there is no fight, no war, we r not fighting against anybody.....now we can be relaxed n be at home. only when death becomes a friend, life also becomes our friend. this may look paradoxical but it only appears to be that way. if death is the enemy then deep down life is also the enemy coz life leads to death.

every type of life leads to death- the poor man's life, the rich man's life, a life of success n a life of failure, the life of a wise man n the life of an ignorant one, the life of a sinner n a saint. so how can we be in love with life if we r against death? then our love is nothing but a positiveness........just a clinging. against death we cling to life understanding very well that this very life itself brings death nearer every day.

so be happy n enjoy life coz its high time we realised some basic things of life n stop fighting it :)

a painting

Everything just looks dull! there is somehow a lack of expression in people, who dont seem to bother about anything happening around. the attitude is more careless than carefree. somehow the past is an exclamation n the future, a big question mark. everything seems a mirage n a dark veil just engulfs the cheerfulness. the self confidence on which i normally ride the journey of life takes a ride of its own down the slope. the failures, the disappointments, the questions, the confusions surface more than ever n the fear of my dreams being just a 'castle in the air' n trampling the hope that others have on me is just unbearable! is there any answer for all the unanswered questions? r all the answers that i already have make any sense? do ppl care for me anymore? am i just dreaming or am i myself a dream? am i a dream of my life or someone else's life? is there a real self of mine somewhere around? oh creator!!!! where r u? where the hell r u?

this was exactly my state of mind last evening, contemplating about everything that i was a part of! the sense of calm n quite just seemed to be a fantasy. so many doubts looming around, the yerning to just keep talking to someone and have a shoulder to lie on seemed to crave inside.... i was wondering whether everyone goes through this lonely phase atleast once in the whole of their lives at some point of time or the other. even the most cheerful should have gone through this facet for these r the times which brings back the fire inside n shapes up the person for the better! its all in how we take it. after all to face the morning the night has to be endured n it is inevitable to face the dawn again after the cheerful morning! so everyone has to endure a full day but it is we who decide whether to get affected by these or not. for it is we who make use of an air conditioner during sultry mornings n light a fire to overcome a chilly night!

so i was much more peaceful to realise that i was not the only one going through this but still....there was no certainity whether ill be the better of those circumstances which tumble me. i couldnt help but wonder how remarkable it would be to know what would happen in the future. there would be no need to worry anymore.....but here i was proved wrong! again we would start worrying coz if we knew our future for sure n if didnt reach our expectations then we would worry more about our powerlessness to change everything. the bliss of fantasy would be lost forever n ever. even if it reached our expectations after all, the human in us would plead for more. at the end the excitement is lost n the life of life itself starts rejecting life.

ok so again ya......there is no need to know the future,but do things go about as already planned by someone else above us n do we have a say at all about what is happening or am i responsible for everything happening around? am i the creation of consequences or do i create my consequences?

an artist almost always prefers to start his work on a fresh piece of canvas or anything that has some space to enclose his work. so if iam the artist n if i was able to paint, then it means ive definitely been given a canvas to do my painting n not just anyother canvas but a blank one where its me who decides how iam painting it. but am i 'the artist' or 'the art' when it comes to life???? i guess that is where we fuse into 'one' n create a master piece of our own which is by us, for us n to us.

just enjoy life n be a master piece :)

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

what is this?

There was a heavy spell of rain as usual n she had no intentions of skipping her gyming session once again! office does tire a person a lot! atleast for being patient while sitting idle in the office for more than 8 hours. she knew she was over indulging in food eating everything that crosses the deadline in the calorie chart. After all it doesnt make sense to reduce so much at a stretch with so much of difficulties n gaining it again in a short span of time.

So after much of a bustle, the tracks n its matching Tee n the jacket were successfuly found n also worn....after all being a memeber in the best gym around is not a joke....a careful sense of fashion is needed where the costume needs to be branded, bright, not too wierd but still unique.....it does take some time to reach that level of perfection.

But more than being a platform to prove one's taste in clothing, a certain kind of a mettle is also required to be popular in such places....come on!everyone goes to the gym with the main intent of working out their muscles while working out the chicks ;) so a good protein diet is rather compulsory to bring out the best. already it was getting late n still the food has to be eaten n there was no car to commute. so an auto has to be caught : 0......

In chennai auto riks are the indispensible mode of commute for many....n the rates more or less does not depend on the price of petrol but the range of the passenger. autowalas here strongly believe in equality where they ask for exorbident fees from the vougish n the others a normal fee. n to top this all there she was yet again a shortage of funds n had to be careful not wasting too much on an auto.

so all set n ready it was time to show case the efforts put in for that mystic figure n the matching attire. the rainy days does make it difficult to catch an auto for the whole city demands for one and the autowalas who did have a seat to spare expected the whole bank balance to be given. so she was but obviously anxious for it was not advisable for women in chennai to go out after a point of time. after much of an ado there came one autorikshaw who atlast seemed to demand for something quite nominal. the amount to be given was one less the square of four so it was better to carry the exact change to avoid further confusions.

the climate was so cold that it was automatic to hold the jacket tight to get some warmth. the journey to the gym was just a matter of 5 minutes but still it was pleasent watching the same old surroundings with a little bit of mist n the roads an arrey of ponds n puddles with a small group of urchins trying to make the best use of the opportunity splashing water on the people walking on the roads. a few romantic couples, as coy as ever, sitting in huddled corners wishing the moment never gets over. during such days one cant help but wish to be in a rship atleast to have a long cuddly walk with "that" special someone.

but there was no time to contemplate more on such thoughts for the gym was just around the corner n it was better to take out the change before the stop to avoid wasting time. while taking out the change from her pocket there was a strong gush of breeze blowing out everything that she held n before the driver stopped, it went inside one of those same puddles that she was looking at on the way. she had no money other than a 20 rupee note but as presumed the auto wala had no change.... so there went the 20 rupee note. after all she couldve caught any in the beginning to reach the gym. :)

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

XAT

u want the expansion of XAT?
X - Self mortification
A- Torment
T- Affliction

k......do u by any chance think i make sense? dont u feel irrelevant? dont u think that am actually torturing both the parties, i.e, the writer n the "writee"? dont tell me that u dont even feel STUPID to actually read a blog like this!

i guess i should first brief u about the symptoms of XAT:
1. U feel guilty 24/7
2. ur will power is walked all over, trying to study everyday but still failing to do so
3. the nearer the examination n the lesser u study
4. literally have no idea about the current affairs n even if u do it doesnt matter anymore
5. u start hating ppl anyway connected to xat
6. u r a part of the mental assylum
7. ur brains r damaged for good
8. u r a part of every online community
9. u r always bored
10.u start blogging.

this is exactly how u feel while u r preparing for this exam.....lost for ever n desperately thinking of ways to escape this agony.....the pain of concentration n the distress of dolefulness will literally kill u! i wont blame u if u actually wonder "what the fcuk? do i need to do my @#^&%$&% MBA after all?"

the best part is while u start solving the problems! XAT has the capability to make u get confused for the simplest of questions. for example to ask u "whats 1+ 1"they would rather format it like "what is the inversial difference of the only integer whose square root is equal to its square?"....i guess i put it simple enough! trust me when i say it gets worse :)..... so obviously u get confused! so while working out a xat paper u could end up answering the question in 4 ways.
1. most likely than not u wont even end up with an answer in ur first attempt. it would definitely be some number with a square of 100 n some 1000 divisions.......so knowing XAT there r chances of u actually solving it further for that might be the answer or rather drop it half way.

2. the second option is u do get an answer (singamule!!!!) but the answer is nowhere near the 4 options in front of u! so that is the time u actually start depending on ur index finger to make its own decision.

3. congrats!!! u managed to end up with an answer again n one of those options actually have ur answer (way to go!!) but u dont care to give it a second thought but mark the answer immediately which would invariabely turn out wrong! (ud be one fool who didnt even realise that ur answer wouldve been already predicted by the examiner n thats y it was given in one of ur options)

4. this is the condition that ud be in while reading through the rest of the questions! ud be in a state of "meditation" where ur mind would be blissfully blank n ud be highly aware of what is happening around u, forgetting the drama unfolding right in front of u :)

the best part of xat is ull neither be peaceful before cracking the paper nor tranquil after cracking it! the only time u r at ease is while u have an examiner is walking around u n uve realised at last that u r screwed :)......So anyone writing XAT or any other entrance exam will agree with me n if not then am sorry dude.......u r extra terrestrial....an alien n definitely not from planet earth

Amma

the relationship between a mother n her child could easiy be the purest bond that exists in the whole of the universe....yes, i agree that there r some exceptions but still i reckon either the mother or the child failed to realise the purity of their bond.....yes, that should be the reason.

just imagine, if our child were to ask us for our blood, what would our answer be? can we choose between acceptance and creativity at this juncture - accepting to die by giving away our blood; will it give life to our child that is begging for blood? so would that be the right solution? is so, what about us - do we as one of god's creation need to die unnecessarily? shouldnt we protect ourselves? can we then refuse to give blood n allow the new creation to die? but this question has already been answered. n how? the answer appears everytime a child is born. the mother doesnt have to die to give life to her baby. y?bcoz the baby is a part of her child. there is no way she would identify her child as seperate from her. this could be the only rship in the whole of the universe where there is such purity in the creation n the giver doesn't lose a thing n the reciever just gains everything.

i guess u might wonder y iam actually writing about motherhood instead of writing about my mother....."amma" as i call her :)...i guess she has always been the silent support for the whole family......living for us n working to make us live better. thats the only job that she has got. time to time i wonder whether she is capable of being selfish at all.........but am always proved wrong! ALWAYS!!!! she could easily be the epitome of patience...(guess having a daughter like me she needs to be so :P)

its her duty consciousness that highly amazes me!not even one day has passed where she made her children starve bcoz she was feeling lazy.......when i was a child i had the habit of craving for something to eat at midnight n yes u guessed it right? she still used to wake up n make something for me, make me eat or even go to the extent of feeding the food n then make me sleep! n the next morning there she was in the kitchen, humming a song, cooking something special to give us to school. n btw my mom is highly popular among my friends in school n college for making all those yummy stuff :) thanks a ton ma!

i still haven't told u that she was actually one of the best play back singers of her time! she used to give so many shows n since she was upcoming she got so many offers from the best of the music directors! but unfortunately all these offers started rushing in after we were born n she was torn between her career n her children....n again we became her top priority so she didnt pursue her career. even now i feel bad that i was one of the reasons for that :(the amount of faith n trust that she has got on my father's decisions is again another subject on which i could easily write volumes.

n dont think she is all perfect.......coz its only bcoz of her that i havent started cooking yet :P spoils me rot while am at home! :)

AMMA i just love u :*

Monday, December 19, 2005

the story of the pencil

once the pencil maker took the pencil aside, just before putting it into a box. "there r 5 things u need to know", he told the pencil, "before i send u out into the world. always remember them, n u will become the best pencil u can b"

one: u will be able to do many great things, but only if u allow urself to be held in someone's hand

two: u will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, but u will need it to become a better pencil.

three: u will be able to correct the mistakes u make.

four: the most important part of u will always be whats inside.

five: u must leave a mark on every surface on which u r used. irrespective of the condition, u must continue to write.

the pencil understood, promised to remember what the pencil maker had said n went into the box with a purpose in its heart.

now replace the pencil with u.

make urself His instruement n allow other human beings to access u for the many gifts u possess. u will experience a painful sharpening from time to time, by going through various challenges in life, but ull need it to become a stronger person. u will be able to correct any mistake that u make. the most important part of u will always be whats inside. u must leave ur mark in whatever u do in life. irrespective of the situation, continue to do ur duty.

u r a special person, n only u can fulfil the purpose u were born to accomplish. become the best u can be :)

what is love?

Love me not for comely grace,
For my pleasing eye or face,
Nor for any outward part,
No, nor for my constant heart,-
For those who fail, or turn to ill,
So thou and i shall sever:
Keep therefore a true woman's eye,
And love me still, but know not why
So hast thou the same reason still
To dote upon ever n ever!!!!

So what is love-the chemistry that works when you see ur mate? or maybe the affection u shower on ur parents n children? or perhaps it is the warmth u fel for ur friends n neighbours? but all these forms of love r specific-limited by space n time. this limited love is vain n can desert us at a moment's notice.

The only way to love is to love without limiting our reasons. the only emotion that really rules our life is love-either in its positive aspect or in its negative aspect as hatred for even to hate somebody u need to be involved with that individual! the only way to lead ur life into light is by "loving without looking for reasons".

So the problem that most of face is the problem of identity...! do i see myself as a hindu or a christian? am i an indian or a pakistani? does the river belong to the ppl of karnatake or tamil nadu? we even face this identity crisis in our daily lives. in this process of tryin to identify ourselves, we begin to limit ourselves, compartmentalising ourselves in the name of freedom n independence. we dont realise that love is an expanding circle that is capable of engulfing this entire universe! u dont have to take away the love from ur mother to love ur mother-in-law.

if our left hand is bleeding, would our riht hand wait for the left hand to ask for assistance? do our body parts need to ask for something before it is given? yet y do we insist on waiting for ppl to beg us for forgiveness before granting them pardon? wouldnt the quality of our forgiveness greatly enhanced if it were given without asking? wont our love surely be pure by the mere fact that it was given without expecting anything in return? after all, whom r v forgiving? whom r v loving? our own selves!

Party Animal.....

The past couple of days has really been hectic partying all through the night n then having to rush to my office in the morn....no time to "lie down" n sleep (meaning i did sleep through the days sitting in my office).......it s a hectic life! After all partying could be fun but definitely not easy! Trust me it did take the hell out of me!
That day in office was not one of those 'interesting' days where u get to do some work! could rather say it was quite irritating to sit right in front of my PC having nothing to do other than chat n orkut! I guess it is bliss after all to actually have a reason for doing nothing but still.....couldnt help but feel guilty!
So by the end of the day i was in one of my 'great' moods (n thats definitely sarcastic) n bloody hell i come home n realise how much of work is actually pending at home! But again it was one of those most dreaded parties in the family!Somehow its boring to actually go to one of the parties of many of ur parents' good friends! REALLY BORING!not that am trying to say that old people r boring but still there is not much of an excitement there! trust me its really sick to be artificial with all those socialites n smiling away the whole party! sometimes its interesting to listen to all those incidents that they share but still........its all from the past! its all matured partying! then there goes the matchmaking stuff which is like the best part of all......
So i guess i didnt make it that hard for u to guess that i had to go for one such parties! n the cream of the story is that i was actually made the walking talking juke box of the evening! no doubt that its bliss to sing for a good audiance but plz...........gimme a break man :(
The host of the party made sure that no matter what, we had to close the stall not anywhere before 3 o' clock in the morning! one minute everyone were sober n steady n the next!!! OMG... i guess thats where the fun started! all those confessions about their past exploits n stuff like how they've been there, seen it n done that (n right in front of their wives).....really, its hard to imagine that i might be in that place one day all old n bored n talking about stuff which u wont otherwise until u r hyper boozed......*sigh*.......
But the next day there was a refreshing change......I was still in the midst of old people...(my grandparents' best friends).......but somehow there i didnt feel the gap or hollow that i felt with my parent's friends! iam still surprised n realised that its not the age that matters but the spirit inside!

Saturday, December 17, 2005

MY DAD

"MY DADDY STRONGEST"

YES, I wanted to dedicate one of my blogs to the most important person in my life..."the man".......MY DAD.....In every sense of the word 'am not here without him'.....biologically, physically, mentally, professionally, emotionally, n just every "elly" that is there.

He is my father, friend, guide, philosopher...........but this dialogue is given by just everyone around(except for the 'father' part ofcourse)..... thats what astounds me coz me saying this as a daughter is acceptable but mostly everyone does n that makes a difference...

Normally kids of all age groups have a hero of their own n worship them but i guess i was actually lucky enough to have a real life hero in my life....My father was, is n will be the hero that he has always been to me n also to many others.

When i was a child i was my curious best......though never that naughty i guess i really used to destroy the happiness of my parents by just asking one question after the other....questions, questions, questions! why, what, how, when, for what has always been the order of my childhood days ...n now i realise that it really takes something to answer a kid! but now am fathomed by his willingness n also with the clarity of his answers. his answers were never one liners...NEVER! he used to explain it first n give an example n used to tell me y we have to follow it! n then there goes the topics connected to that subject! we used to talk for such long hours even when i was a baby (some 3-4 yrs or something) n he never used to under estimate me as a child! i guess my dad grew me not with food but with words!

now am finding it hard to talk about him! its not as simple as i thought it would be! its not simple at all....its as if u know what lies inside the book but not able to express the contents!

most of my friends ask me whether he keeps smiling n laughing all the time! nope, not at all coz he doesn't! there is this fire in the other part of his personality! fire that protected me, fire that gave me warmth during my lonely days, fire that made me the person that iam today giving me a part of its flame but never losing its own intensity...i guess at last i coined on the right word! he is "FIRE"..... if u had noticed, a flame always burns upwards.....Always. try changing the direction of ur hold but still the fire always faces up. n u could never try to cover fire....whatever u keep over it, it just burns it up...anything....wood, cloth, metal, plastic!!! thats what he is.... whoever u r....u just cannot try reducing his intensity! u use fire on the dhiya to light up ur home (atleast not now), u use fire to give u warmth when it is cold......but the same fire is also capable of destroying a whole building! so the minute u try crossing ur boundries ull be destroyed!

But i guess if he is just another form of fire he wouldnt have been as complete as he is! more than anything else he is a human at heart! more than a human! his generosity has no bounds! normally ppl who come home r scared to eat when he is around coz almost always he makes sure that they eat much more than they usually do. sometimes it even irritates ppl at home (including me)....n his maturity is another thing that i cannot miss out!i guess ive never seen anyone who could empathise with the worst of his enemies, ppl who have actually stabbed his back but still who came back for forgiveness! ive seen all those things happen right in front of me n used to make me wonder y he should accept their apologies right away?y not make them realise how much he had gone through bcoz of their selfishness! but he has his own way of making ppl realise n stuff.......

he is my guru, critic, fan, manager n just everything in my singing carreer! n still iam scared to sing in front of him! i guess he is just brutally frank when it comes to his children.....never polished! it definitely hurts a lot n sometimes while in front of others it hurts the worst but i guess its like "tincher".....it'll definitely burn in the beginning but it also heals the wound faster than anything else!

ok though this entry has been quite long i just couldnt put in everything that i feel in words......first time in my life that am this pathetic in my communication skills. but he is the best in just everything! He is "raymonds" (the complete man) ;)......

Sooooooooooooo..................."MY DADDY ALWAYS STRONGEST" :D

i dont know u

The minute u start thinking that u know something for sure u realise that u actually have no idea what is happening.......Trust me...confidence is one thing but being over confident is on a totally different plane....

Thats exactly y i dont know u......n plz this is definitely not a generalised statement at all.......its the truth! U r either one of my very good friends who knows my blog address or someone curious and also jobless to an extent,who just tripped over this.

If u r a stranger then i obviously have no clue who u r n if u r my good friend then again the theory that am gonna put fwd will apply...which means "i dont know u" either.Man am i lost or what? nope.....am actually not coz here comes the knot :D (konjam TR rangela pogudhu but ....chalega)

ok.......the minute we start knowing a fellow "human being" we tend to unconsciously start accumulating information about them as a whole. n again in that process we start assuming things which might turn out right or wrong n we go on changing n rechanging the assumptions. But just guess where the trouble starts? its the minute we start "assuming" that we dont need to assume anything again about that person...thats where we get over confident. thats bcoz we dont wanna go further but just stop right at the midst of our journey.....how pathetic.we fail to realise that the fun lies in the journey itself n not the destination...

so yes.....i dont know U. I also dont wanna know u but i wanna keep "knowing" u. i wanna explore n not conqure...guess an eternity of knowing is any day better than just stopping it somewhere right?

so what is the difference between my friend who is reading this n the anonymus reader? well........the fact that i made u wonder whether u r different from the other group by itself is a success but i dont wanna deprive u of the climax of the article....

U r different not bcoz of "how i know u" but its rather "how u know me"......:)

Friday, December 16, 2005

my FIRST blog...

HI THERE..........WOOOOOW my first blog......
what?u guys dont seem to be as excited as iam but well...thats how iam ;)

I guess i feel like an infant who is gradually learning to talk......first the child observes then tries to speak but never makes it in his first attempt...then there goes the heavy duty jabbering n then all of a sudden the words just start pouring out.....so first i got inspired by some real good bloggers then tried creating a blog site for myself where the power got cut n i had to postpone it ceremoniously to 2day...n now at my jabbering best n hope it gets better.......

I guess u need 2 things to write a blog.
1. The interest
2. The time (very important)

ok since am unbelievebly "vetti" at the moment, i definetly dont mind contributing some of my"striking" thoughts (yes they r definitely striking coz either it'll give u a punch or sometimes gives me a real punch for coming up with such things or sometimes both :P)

Sso here we goooo........................ :)