No-incident!

Lesson for the day:

Coincidences should not be expected!

Coincidences will not happen at will!!

Coincidences r not man made!!!

Coincidences cannot be planned!!!

Sarvam Krishnarpanam

If God is not real, Wat in life is?!

The one memory of Him that i remember from my first ten yrs of life was during one of my birthdays.. My mom gave me a wash n made me wear my new clothes n said, "we r going to meet God!" I cldnt believe God was just the piece of stone that everyone was bowing to.. but i loved the sound of those bells!! In fact, i ran from one end to the other end of the temple.. I jumped up to reach n ring the bell so many times n the old pandit commented wid a smile! "The God sitting in the sky has heard u ma, now stop!!" Hmmm, thought my mind.. God stayed in the sky.. Sky is there all the time n it is everywhere! So He too must b present everywhere all the time!! The syllogism was permanently put in place within my head..

From that day onwards, the adults in my house seemed precoccupied wid life.. but life was all that preoccupied me.. I wondered, sitting alone on my terrace, who made the beautiful sea? n.. n.. who made the waves dance?! also, who made sure the waters shld stop at a particular place.. just a lil beyond our locality, so that we never got drowned!?

Where did night go when day came? If the sun gives our universe light, who gives the sun the light?? Wat glue is used to stick the stars in the sky, n then suddenly, y, oh y, does one of them fall sometimes??? N the simple answer to all this was Him.. Yes.. Who else but Him!!?? He was a superpower to me.. My God was real.. If he wasnt, then who had created everything n who took such great care of everything???

He became a need when i entered adolescence.. I needed him!!! Especially that night when we went for a wedding n an uncle commented, "Archith wont have a problem wid his wedding but u r so dark n ugly. who will marry u?".. Especially when my friends told me i wasnt speaking articulate english then to b friends wid them.. Especially when to b accepted in a group i would need to b all kewl n hip n i had no clues how.. Insecure abt everything, the only thing that kept me going was the security that there was someone called God who loved me as i was. He was real.. If he wasnt, who was He, who told me am amazing just when i needed it the most??

The professional world made Him a necessity too.. While i was working for this MNC when i didnt know head or tail of anything n it was a wild goose chase.. Especially when i had to change my line of profession n all the insecurities that followed wid it.. In this constant change, all that constantly remained unchanged was Him n i felt grt relief in going to Him at the end of the night n asking him to take care of me.. God was real..

The defining moment in my rship wid Him came when mom was lying in the hospital n i was left at home, alone to myself.. pacing up n down, not knowing how to handle my frenzzied thoughts n me.. I wondered.. cldnt i just go to sleep n wake up to find that this was a nightmare? I knew i wldnt b able to live even a moment widout my mom.. she was EVERYTHING to me.. wat wld i do if something happened to her? n then i heard his voice.. I wondered if i was hallucinating when someone whispered in my mind n said.. "I am wid u, now n forever n thats all u need to go on with life."

I felt such security, such peace in those moments that i knew i wld b able to take whatever life handed to me coz.. life was itself wid me! I was prepared for the best.. n the worst!! when i recieved a call from Appa.. Mom had woken up n Appa was all smiles..

God was real.. If he wasnt, then who had gently reminded me of his presence??

Everything that has happened in my life since then - the good, the better n the best, has been the fringe benefits of realising that He is the real force pulsating within my life.. Everything in my life has happened coz He is as real to me as is my name, my face or these words..

When i throw my hands up in frustration, He takes them in His own n tells me its ok!

When i extend my hand towards him, he is quick to tell me he is there for me..

When i hold my hands up in gratitude, he sits right next to me n tells me he loves me!

N in those moments of absolute silence, when i fold my hands in prayer, he hugs me so intimately that i forget where he ends n where i begin!

My God is real!

P.s. Thank u Megha Bajaj for mirroring my thoughts so well, that i had to borrow a lot of ur skeleton, flesh n blood!

wats the point?

Wats the point of food when theres no hunger

n

Wats the point of a road when theres no way

Wats the point of light when theres no sight

Wats the point of war when theres no enemy

Wats the point of God when theres no trouble

The road comes free

I walked the bustling parthasarathi kovil street,
with the blazing sun setting low, orange'ing' everything.
my lunch bag in one hand n books in the other,

Chattering to no end with my best friends.

I walked through the unknown roads in ooty,

fingers clutched together wid cold n fear, hoping to dissolve into nothingness.

cold coz i didnt know ooty wld b so freezing,

fear coz i didnt know ill flunk my 10th math.

I walked almost the entire stretch of R.K.Saalai

oblivious of all the cars n buses n bikes n cycles riding beside me.

smiling at everyone n laughing for the silliest jokes,

holding in my hand, my admission card for college.

I walked through the solitary lanes in kalakshetra,

amidst the beautiful tress n birds n lot of peace.

listening to my rhythmic foot steps time to time

I wished i had someone walking with me n hold my hand.

I walked the long roads in goa,

dancing, singing n shouting with vigor.

Knowing not whether to grasp the beaches n its people,

or just give in to the inner child that lay within me.

I walked the small connecting roads in besant nagar,

trying to express something that i knew was extremely dear.

like how the waves come n go with no promises,

life also moves on with no pit stops.

heyheyhey

I walked round n round around my flats,

trying to blank my head n make time stop.

the breeze cooled the heat in my head,

the rain after just drenched me n my thoughts.

I walked down marine drive,

happy high after a night of partying with bro n friends.

watching the dark waves splashing on the rocks,

just happy that life is good, atleast for this moment.

I walked down the side lanes in guruvaayur,

knowing one invisible person was following me.

i didnt have to turn to find a peacock feathered flutist behind me,

cos i cld hear him calling out inspite of me not seeing him.

I walked the whirling footpaths in theosophical society

with green, green n more green till my eyes could reach.

i knew then that sometime before i said goodbye,

i wld wanna leave behind something like this n more.

Walking through the roads never mattered,

but walking with whom always did.

life, i have noticed, may never remain the same,

so walk.. coz the road comes free.

Wats with 25

1. Is a prefect square

2. Is the atomic number of manganese

3. Represents the universal word of God, according to Abellio

4. The number of years of marriage marked in a silver wedding anniversary

5. The number of cents in a quarter

6. Is a song by Verusa Salt

7. The minimum pass mark in school

8. The number of points required to win a set in volley ball under rally scoring rules

9. The number of french department doubs

10. Is a centered octogonal number

11. Is an automorphic number

12. The number of days taken for the Sun to do a complete rotation on itself

13. Has an aliquot sum of 6

14. Is the first number to have an aliquot sequence that does not culminate in 0 through a prime

15. Is of cardinal importance in Ezekiel's temple vision

16. Is the dial code of Nanjing, China

17. 25-Hydroxy vitamin D test is the most accurate way to measure how much vitamin D is in ur body

18. The minimum age of candidates in for election to the united states of representatives

19. The usual TCP port of SMTP

20. The per second frame rate of the PAL video standard

21. The designation of the M25 london orbital motorway

22. The name of the national board game of Ireland and India (Panchisi - in India)

23. Is the number of precepts of Mahavirain jainism

24. Is the minimum marriageable age for Men

25. My age as of today

To rot or not to rot

Have u heard of the butterfly effect in chaos theory? if the conditions played right, a lone butterfly cld cause a destructive tornado?

If u have.. good for u.. read further..

If u havent.. good for me.. read further (but do google about it later) to get a different dimension of the same concept..

Part 1

Somehow, earth being the only planet with life is just too over whelming.. (to an extent it may not b true as well.. science keeps re-inventing n re-correcting itself all the time.. I wont b surprised if i hear later that moon had life all along!)

But keeping current facts and conditions in mind, one can say that life on earth began from water.. N the reason y scientists say earth is the only place to have life is coz this is the only place, atleast in the solar system, that can make 2 atoms of hydrogen n 1 atom of oxygen to 1 molecule of water.. the universal solvent.. the elixir for life on earth..

N mind u, its not so simple for 2 atoms of hydrogen n 1 atom of oxygen to readily fuse n make water.. our planet is also strategically placed from the sun, which can make these molecules just right..

Also, heat n water automatically changes the character of things.. The water formed out of heat, i.e, the moisture content reacts with watever it is present in n makes fresh life in it, changing the character of the object.. this is the reason y things get decomposed.. n u can even direct it to a change that u desire.. like fermenting milk to curd under the right heat..

All of the above is information we all grew up with..

Part 2

Wat r we, humans?

As much as it may disappoint a few, Humans rnt God..

I think the concept of God is just pure energy.. So 'God' passes through all of us.. we connect to God at different levels.. Since one connects more than another doesnt mean they r God n the others rnt.. Calling anyone specifically God, is like calling an Air Conditioner which consumes more power, the full source of electricity, compared to a ceiling fan.. N frankly, a ceiling fan n electricity left to themselves, may really b of no use either..

Ok, sorry to have gone so much off track.. getting back to business.. humans separately rnt God..

Humans have decided they rnt animals as well inspite of biologically being one.. n thats only cos we can think.. we did bring in some fresh air to life in jungle by inventing the wheel n a language to communicate with for starters.. (N thats y the more u get to know people, the more u like animals!!!)

But i think, the one characteristic that really differentiates humans and animals is, animals adapt themselves to their surroundings.. humans adapt or change their surroundings to live in it.. this characteristic has made humans spread across the planet and multiple n build their clan.. they r even looking for options in near by planets.. expansion at its best!

Surprisingly, this is the exact characteristic that a viral being employs.. it brings in a major change to where it lives and in the process expands itself further and makes the change more dominant..

Part 3

If moisture is wat makes life, then planet earth is probably one of the many minutest of things in the universe bringing in a change to the bigger scheme of things.. N the universe is probably one of the many atoms of something.. N there mayb many many other such atoms developing such a change.. that 'something' mayb as simple as bread or as complicated as someother living being..

And.. And i think, the reason for this change, though not fully but a very small portion of it, is to be dedicated to the self glorified viral beings of planet earth.. The Human beings!

So next time, if u were ever to ask urself y u are put here on earth or even feel useless.. just remember..

U r one of the smallest of viral beings, bringing in ur share of change to the bigger scheme of things..

life lessons

I learnt 2 very important lessons yesterday,

1. When u have a baby at home, the temptation to be his favourite by spoiling him once in a while overrides disciplining him! dont hate babies n their parents so easily.

2. You can grow old right in front of your eyes. Never take ur health for granted.

Happy republic Day

Am a patriot.. Am SO FREAKIN PROUD to be an Indian woman.. Am proud my grandfather was a freedom fighter and he fought so hard to free this nation.. he had his own press to publicise wat he believed in.. he was put in jail at one point in time and lost his 5 yr old daughter in the process.. he has withstood the lathi charges of firangs and even some Indians who worked for the britishes (i dont blame them though.. food for one's family becomes more important than freedom sometimes)!! he fought more so to free India from the ill-treatment, than the britishes themselves.. If thats the case, I would say we still havent managed to achieve complete freedom cos we are still fighting ill-treatment from our own people..

Many responsibilities are conveniently forgotten for that extra bit of personal gratification either in terms of money, power or ego! Some politicians, like diapers, have to b changed often and worse.. mostly for the same reason!

Wat went wrong in the attitude of our people durin the last 63 years of freedom?
Wat makes them take our freedom for granted when so many of our own blood have shed theirs for our well being?
Wat rights do a few individuals have, to decide whether to share a natural resource with a neighbouring state!?
Wat rights do individuals have to divide the nation in the name of birth right n community?
Wat r the rights, as Indian citizens, have we decided to exercise than complain wat we dont have?
How many of us even respect the national anthem enough to stand up n salute while its being played?
Wat makes some so not proud of the nation that has given them a life and an identity!

It is but human tendency to pursue peace and unite when there is a problem bigger than life! But let us not wait for something bigger than 26/11 happen to unite us whole heartedly!

Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.. so let us learn and overcome the mistakes we've been making individually, as a group, as a community n finally as a nation!

No nation is perfect.. It needs to b MADE perfect.. As Indians, let us face that responsibility.. let our children be proud of us for the future we create for them in this nation..

To My love, My life, My history, My present, My future, My all, My nation.. My India

- JAI HIND!

Can i ask for more?

Am just back from a live concert by Padmashree Begum Parveen Sultana..

Have you ever felt the surge of adnernaline when a far fetched dream becomes reality, enfolding so beautifully right in front of ur eyes? Ever dreamt of getting a flesh and blood darshan of your deity?

My deity was Begum Parveen Sultana and I did get the darshan!!!!

To describe her in a nutshell, when she sings she transcends herself from noun to verb.. Parveen ji is Music herself.. the only vocalist to reach 4 octaves, her bewitching voice modulations and thaans at an unimaginable speed, she has been unbeatable in her empire for the past 50 and odd years..

Ever since my dad introduced me to one of her recordings when i was a teenager, she and her singing has been a distant dream to me.. her renditions so divine and surreal, there have been times ive just day dreamt about how her audience wldve probably reacted during a particular recording..

At her age of 70+, it was the most amazing performances ive ever heard.. her music made me feel so light and pure.. i was just floating.. with her powerful but smooth as butter voice n her PERFECT SA engulfing the entire auditorium, she never gave me one opportunity to touch base.. I learnt today that it is possible indeed to be drugged by music..

With a constant smile on her beautiful face, everything about her on stage was gracious and divine.. she was grounded enough to call her audience as her God and she was just a Pujari, offering her prashad to them.. heights of humility!!!!!

The minute she started with raag Purya Dhanasri with small quips earlier, it is but impossible to sit through the aalaap without a tear rolling down one's cheeks while hearing her efforlessly glide through the notes from athi mantra sthayi(lowest octave), madhya sthayi(middle octave) n finally reaching to a cresendo of tara sthayi (highest octave).. her voice modulations can give instant moksha.. the experience was more spiritual than musical..

As she ended the concert with raag bhirav, the audience gave her a 5 minutes standing ovation and applause.. not enough compared to what she gave us during the 2 hrs concert..

I am blessed to have witnessed her live concert

I am blessed to have been seated right in front of her n hear her sing while she was directly looking at me

I am blessed to have been even considered to play the tambura for her during the show

I am blessed to have been hugged by her

I was blessed by none other than my Goddess of music herself..

Can i ask for more?

To have succeeded

To laugh often & love much;

To win the respect of intelligent people

And the affection of children;

To earn the approbation of honest critics

And endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty;

To find the best in others;

To give one's self;

To leave the world a little better,

Whether by a healthy child,

A garden patch,

Or a redeemed social condition;

To have played and laughed with enthusiasm

And sung with exultation;

To know even one life has breathed easier

Because one has lived...

This is to have succeeded!

Manadhil Urudhi Vaendum

மனதில் உறுதி வேண்டும்
வாக்கினிலே இனிமை வேண்டும்
நினைவு நல்லது வேண்டும்
நெருங்கினப் பொருள் கை பட வேண்டும்

கணவு மெய் பட வேண்டும்
கை வசமாவது விரைவில் வேண்டும்
தனமும் இன்பமும் வேண்டும்
தரணியிலே பெருமை வேண்டும்

கண் திறந்திடல் வேண்டும்
காரியத்தில் உறுதி வேண்டும்
பெண் விடுதலை வேண்டும்
பெரியக் கடவுள் காக்க வேண்டும்

மண் பயனுற வேண்டும்
வானகம் இங்கு தென் பட வேண்டும்
உண்மை நின்றிட வேண்டும்
ஓம்! ஓம்! ஓம்!

Tomorrow never comes

I came across this ancient jaina story that made an extra grey cell move in my head...

A prince had gone to listen to Mahavira with his wife.. when they came home, as was the tradition in ancient India n particularly in the luxurious homes, the husband was bathing n the wife was pouring rose water over him... they started talking about wat they had heard the Mahavira say...

The wife said, "My brother has been thinking of becoming a sannyasin of mahavira!"

Her husband asked, "How long has he been giving this a thought?"

She replied saying, "How long? I think it must be atleast 5 yrs now."

Then the husband laughed n said, "He will be thinking his whole life.. This is not the way to become a sannyasin!" The wife felt hurt as something was said against her brother..

She said, "Do u think u can do better?!"

He was sitting naked n taking a shower... He did not answer, he got up, opened the door n walked out... The wife said, "Where r u going naked???"

He said, "Mahavira's sannyasins live naked.. Iam going to my master to b initiated.."

She said, "R u kidding?"

The man said, "Forget all that! IF I WANT TO DO SOMETHING, I DO IT.. I dont go on thinking for 5 yrs!"

She said, "Forgive me that i asked you wat u wld do in his place!"

He said, "Now it is too late!" n he went on to become a sannyasin n never looked back..

I guess those who really decide to live drop all fears, all thinking, all security n all safety! they end up risking everything because life is so precious n so fleeting... so momentary that one just cannot go on postponing... Thinking is a way of postponing... feeling is a way of postponing... even desiring is a way of postponing sometimes... life enfolds much better when there is a streak of spontenity to it... This does not mean am propaganding skinny dipping on a shallow bed of rocks jus because someone challenges u to...

But i have learnt to believe that nothing is ever right or wrong except for that single light in each of us called the 'instinct'... once the instinct strikes then there is no looking back... the risk in opening ones' wings seems much lesser compared to the risk of never opening it...

If heaven hasnt got an internet connection, i aint going!!!!!

Careless n Aimless n lazy n... :)

Writing could be such a pleasure :) and a blog space is such a joy... getting reallllllly fond of blogging lately i must confess... though there are enough things happening in my life right now to keep me busy forever, there is a relief to just sit and blog aimlessely for a while and get back on track...

I do wanna write somethin interesting right now but feelin too nice and comfy to brain storm... Here i am, leaning on 4 to 5 nice cushiony soft pillows on ma bed... the tubelight in ma room has conked off, so its just a small dim bulb thats lighting the room... ive opened the window and my balcony door strategically right for a splendid cross ventilation... niceeeee breeze n its blisssssssss in this chennai heat :)... there is 'yen anbe' n 'indian rain' playing on a loop in my ipod... there is a box of leftover chocolate truffle cake lying beside me... finally, my long time writting deadline is close to getting over! yipee yey yey!!!! (time for victory dance :D)... i can also hear the busy, monday evening, chennai traffic buzzing with fervour and a few hyper active, post school pressure kutties, shrieking away to glory downstairs... cant seem to stop smiling though :)

Happiness is a state of mind and is all the more wonderful when its not instigated by a specific reason i guess... It stays longer n goes deeper... I can even feel myself glowing (Self involved! thats me! :P) hmmm... :)

N Aalinth just came into the room n gave me one of his toothless, priceless smiles :) he even laughed today when i screeched 'Poda Bokkae' in my highest decibel possible!!!! Am just feeling a bit disturbed abt loosing that bokke smile in a while when he starts growing teeth.. but cant help it i guess.. part of life... its not gonna look nice when he grows big n still gives a full gummy smile to women... :P

N Last night there were heavy rains here but no power... it is splendid when u know u cant do much even if u wanted to! thats the best part abt a power cut in the evenings... :) it was super nice to jus strum my guitar n sing along something aimlessly... the chords kept changing n perfection gone with the wind... niceeeeeeee :)

Wish it rains today as well...

Hmmm... If it does, may u have a careless aimless evening urself :) tata bubye..

Dearest Michael

Finally! FINALLY... Finally u decided to find ur own peace that mere mortals like us couldnt let u live with... A life that blossomed to its fullest through ur death!

We.. or even I didnt bother about ur life or otherwise a few weeks back... But here I am right now, mourning over ur death for the past one week... words just doesnt seem to put through the heaviness i feel inside n am quite astonished myself to accept it here on a public forum... How much u have affected a complete, not-so-die-hard-a-fan stranger!?? My every morning n every night is filled with nostalgia... the times i subconsciously decided u were just immortal... But U did look the part didnt u!?

So much to talk about, so much to read about, so much to learn about, so much.... just so much is rushing to my mind all at the same time... have a feeling as long as i dont express it in words, that atleast, would truely remain immortal... Will finish this post with one quote that applies to u...

"When you were born, u cried while the world rejoiced.

Live ur life in such a way that when u die, the world cries while u rejoice"

U were one person i know who lived such a life... inspite of all those screw ups n hiccups n all sorts of non sense, u still remain in our hearts for ur incomparable genius...

But, u can never ever die...

Proud to have lived during ur era Michael...

Love u!!!!!!

Bathroom Time Killers

The inventor of western closet was a GENIUS!!!!!! wat comfort... wat bliss... Privacy at its best! One place where no one can enter or anyone could disturb... the outside world is completely shut... past and future completely forgotten... wat remains is the blissful present!!! Awwww.. n wat bliss!!!

But i do come across those times when the morning paper was already read during the morning session... there is no other interesting book to keep me occupied... mobile is on charge so cant take it inside! PANIC...

So once when all the serene tranquility was surrounding me in the bathroom, i heard myself think... When such are the impediments to take away all the fun from life, how do we rise above them!? The answer was, bathrooms were not only meant for long reads, never ending conversations n goosebumpin enlightenment but can also be a stadium for many You vs You tournaments!!!! :D read on if u wanna know more...

Disclaimer: Urgency will definitely not work well... Edhuvaa irundhaalum ppppplan pannnni pannanum!!!!

Trash Can Frisbee

Wat u need: A wastepaper basket n some paper plates... if the waste paper basket aint big enough to hold the paper plates, use a cardboard box or a paper shoppin bag... place the basket on the bathroom floor as far from the toilet as u can...

How to play: Fling the paper plates like frisbees... see if u can throw them into a wastepaper basket... for a bigger challenge, try to boomerang them off a wall into the basket!

Bathroom Darts

Wat u need: A tin, a saucer, a small glass n small objects to throw ( coins or cups from discarded toothpaste tubes work well! )

How to play: Put the glass in the centre of the saucer, n put the saucer in the centre of the tin... set them all down on the bathroom floor a few feet from the toilet... thats ur "dart board"! :P
Toss the coins ("Darts") at ur target... if they land in the glass, u get 10 points... if they land in the saucer, u get 5... if they land in the tin, u get 1... if u score too well, move the target farther away to make it more challenging... U also get to perk up ur memory n math in the process by calculatin ur scores :D

Bathroom Blow Gun

Wat u need: A soda straw, some wooden matches n a hat or somethin hollow!

How to play: Turn the hat or upside down n place it on the bathroom floor a good distance away from the toilet... put a match in the straw, hold the straw up to ur mouth, n blow... try to shoot all the matches into the hat!

Fun With a Funnel

Wat u need: A rubber ball n a funnel... the funnel needs to big enough to hold the ball...

How to play: Hold the pointy end of the funnel... bounce the ball off the wall opposite the closet n try to catch it in the funnel on the rebound...

Bathroom Bouncy Ball

Wat u need: An egg carton or an empty ice tray n some ping pong balls...

How to play: Write different point values in each of the 12 cups of the egg carton or the ice tray... then place it on the bathroom floor a few feet from the toilet...
Try to bounce the ping pong balls into the carton or tray... start with one bounce, then, as ur skills improve, move the carton farther away n bounce the balls twice before they go into the cups... add up the values of ur score...

Bathroom Broken Neck Preventer

Wat u need: All the stuff u just spread out all over the bathroom floor to play all these games i just taught u...

How to play: pick up all the stuff off the bathroom floor, before somebody gets killed!!!!

24 reasons how turning 24 was fun!

This may b the result of reading too many cosmos n vogues... U get to learn a hell a lot of awesome useless stuff and also learn to number things to make em more alluring n important... ditto that strategy to this post... :) so here we go,

1. I turned 24 on a 24th.. :D

2. Cutting 4 chocolate truffle cakessssssssssssssss and hogging on them in a span of 1 day was definite fun!!!! :D

3. Unlike any other bday, or even any bday surprise, my friends tried surprising me twice... one on the eve of my bday (as a back-up plan apparently) n one on my bday... :) *thanks to my luvs divs, achu, vish, krish, arch n pre!!!*

4. Orkut helped a whole lot of people remember my bday on time... my phone was busy till 1.35 in the night.. call hoppin so long did annoy my parents but was awesome fun indeed :P *thanks to all my nocturnal luvs and the ones who stayed awake or set an alarm to wish me then crashed to sleep*

5. Cutting my bday eve cake in the beach... near the waves... under the soft moon light... with my best budds... was just awesome!!! :) i have to admit, but the cake was soooooooo splendid... it was sooo soft, soooooooooooooooooo soft, with yum chocolate fresh cream all over... ashwin got it from this place called padmashri foods (name may sound sidey) near the NDTV office, chennai.

6. Amma n pre smuggled in a french loaf choc truffle :D... the rest is guessable aint it? for the ones who cant guess afterall, i cut it at 12 n promptly binged again :D

7. One call that surprised me was a call from spore at 12 in the night... it wldve been 2.30 there... thanks charan for stayin awake so long...

8. Myself n pre decided my 24th yr shld b 'absolut'e in all ways.. so we thought the liquid way of driving in that point shld b a good start :P

9. Girish called up in the morning and spoke to me for quite sometime... Poor thing had slept only at 2 the previous night coz of some crap he didnt deserve... But it didnt strike him once that it was my bday that day... was supeerrrrrrrrrr fun to remind him :P

10. Myths turned up home in the morn to wish me... was worried whether i may miss seeing her but there she was :)

11. Myself n amma had this convo...
"Amma: Janani, Archith asked me to prepare something for 10 people who were coming home in the morning... are they still coming?
Me: Who 10 people?? *evil grin on my face*
Amma: Oh.. didnt u know about it?? *realizes whether she let out something, grins wide* :P

12. Meghs turning up in the morn was a sure fire surprise... i wasnt expecting that... realllllly sweet of u meghs... to have found my address from arch and come all the way with ur cute wall hanging and a hand written letter as my gift:)

13. N i did love ur msg later... :D i can never ever forget it!!!!!!

14. Btw, i was supposed to be going judging to an eng collegethat afternoon! :P

15. Thats preisely how Arch, pre n minnu smuggled me to ponneri... n it wasnt simple either... i asked them so many questions on our way that they may thought of leaving me in the middle of nowhere n running to peace :P

16. They finally smuggled me to this place called 'The Wild Ranch' in ponneri... a place dedicated for adventure sports... bungee jumping, dare devil, paint ball, some avalanche drive n sundry...

17. I found divs, vish, krish, gurpreet, rony n ashwin in the entrance waiting... :D

18. I walked in to find a life size FLEXXXXXXXX in the entrance saying 'Happy birthday to the queen of Apes'!!!!!!!!!!!! :P Ashwin had designed the whole thing n it was lookin sooooooo splendid... i just wish it had more photos of our gang than me... but felt ever so important :D Thanks achaggi!

19. Was all the more fun to find vijay, vids, suresh n san waiting inside... :)

20. After enough waiting and changing, we went for 'dare devil'... I learnt that size DID matter for agility... we were all timed and archith bribed the timer guy n announced he finished in 2 minutes n 59 secs.. :P LOL... where as it took most of us a minimum of 4 minutes.. :P

21. We went for paint ball next... it was fun to b thinkin, 'to run, or not to run!?'.. then 'to shoot, or not to shoot!?'... :P But i did run, i did shoot n got shot :D... bday-girl-gettin-shot pamperin was good indeed :P

22. Phone had promptly conked up when i reached the waiting area to check for calls... so i ended up gettin a new phone as well for ma bday :D

23. Finally, ashwin had arranged for a cake cutting ceremony on the terrace area... it was sooooooooooooooooo beautiful... it was twilight n sooooo beautifully lit with lights... chairs were neatly set and i was made to cut the cake :) thanks soooooooooo much achu... n there was a guy playing us songs with his guitar... was really really really nice...

24. Finally, vhea wanted to b the last caller as she wasnt the first n wished me :)... i later ended up torturing prashanth by calling him thrice to find out who the number belonged to (as i didnt have the contacts in my new phone n had repeated missed calls in my msg list!)... n that was one day he really really wanted to sleep early... :P he literally begged me to stop calling him... :P :P sorry prashanth boy!!!!

So, ending this post on a typical formal note, thanks so much to all u guys again... life is beautiful coz u guys r around... :)

I salute!

He was born with multiple defects - club footed, both hands with webbed fingers, crippling pterygium, cleft lip n palate... by the age of 4 he had already undergone 15 surgeries!! he was confined to a wheel chair n all efforts to grow the bones in his legs went in vain...

At the age of 5 he was so frustrated that he told the doctor to cut off his legs so that he could go out n play with the other kids... the doctors did find that to be the solution n amputated his legs n replaced them with artificial limbs... as suggested by the doctors, he was taken to a therapeutic pool to swim n that marked the beginning of a new life for him... he just wouldnt come out of the pool n grew in swimming with prosthetic legs! n everytime he came out of the pool, he made it a point to set a record!

He actually wanted to run even before he could walk.. when he was 8, he said he would swim in the paralympics games... he not only lived up to it, but also surpassed it by winning the gold medal n setting a record for his category...

When he was 15, he had set 5 american swimming records, 4 national running records, completed 6 triathlons n carried an olympic torch! last yr, when he was 20, he won the gold medal at the paralympics at beijing, setting a new world record..

Rudy Garcia Tolson today swims, runs n participates in triathlons as a competitor at the highest level n sometimes he has even outperformed some of the able-bodied athletes. Rudy is also a motivational speaker n inspires many by his story! he also generates funds to support other challenged athletes n help them build a career with dignity...

With such grit, determination, zest n nerves of steel, he has achieved not only for himself but for everyone around him... I salute!

Who will cry when i die?

"When you were born, u cried while the world rejoiced. Live ur life in such a way that when u die, the world cries while u rejoice"

Last night was one of those nights i slept deeeeeeep... I remember coming across that person in bessi beach... i remember feeling lost n being angry initially n later giving a bear hug n patching up things between us... I remember that was the point in ma dream, when i drifted off to sleep... Whenever am a bit disturbed, my subconscious always tricks my logic mind into making things look rosy n making me sleep... later during the night ill have loads of reflective dreams that i wld end up pondering about the next day morning...

But last night, i absolutely didnt remember anything after that initial trick... I dont even remember sleeping... it was as if i dreamt but decided not to sleep anymore n woke up immediately... I opened just one eye slowly to search for my mobile to check the time... it was around 1 noon... quite late for my standards but not too bad! N I heard lots of voices...

I knew it was quite late for all that noise to be heard outside... Arch n pre shldve already left for office n appa for his shoot... it shld b only amma n alinth n kala... but looked like a whole lot of people had decided to visit our place that particular morning... n i didnt remember amma mentioning any get together in the morning n even if it was so, she shldve definitely woken me up... I did get worried when I heard the urgency in the voices as i got nearer to the door...

I stood in the doorway for a while n was shocked to see quite a number of people... looked like my house was filled with a whole lot of worried people around... n i did expect some kind of an acknowledgement from paachaa uncle who was near my room.. a 'good morning' or an urgent update about all that was happening... but he bloody didnt even madhichufy me... a bit hurt n angry i walked down the hall quite groggy, combing my unruly hair with my fingers as much as possible to look a bit dignified n not a joker... I entered the hall n AGAIN no one bothered...

i definitely had to find amma n hear wats happening so urgent that no one even bothered to look at me...

I finally found her in the master bedroom n GOSH! she was crying... crying quite hard... i really got worried then... i ran near her n tried hugging her but to my surprise i cldnt feel anything n looked like neither did she... *thats more worrying indeed*... i tried again n bloody there was no action or reaction from both our sides there... murphy's law did make sense! if somethings bad, it cld n wld definitely get worse!!!!!

I walked out of the room, bugged than ever n noticed something finally that shook me... someone who was an exact replica of me was lying there near the balcony... covered with a white cloth!!!! My frantic brain did some quick math n boiled down the situation to 2 options... someone either decided to clone me n also killed her in the process which these poor ppl thought was me... which was unlikely... cloning is illegal n am not THAT famous yet!!!...

Or i was dead.


a loud *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep* in my ears!




SHUCKSSSSSSSS!!!! wat the hell did happen last night!? i havent even gone for that katemeron ride ive been dyin to go for n bloody looks like i already am DEAD!!!! i also wanted to tell amma sorry for screamin at her yesterday... i wanted aalinth to smile at me atleast once dammit... i wanted to do soooooo many things! looks like even an extra day wont b enough n ive always thought ill b kinda prepared before i died... like a notice period... looks like finally somethin did manage to surprise me instead of me forever guessing all my surprises...

The whole ceremony part flew away in a rush n it was funny to watch all that happening to me... after the cremation all of us came home, though my ppl dint realize ive been there all along... the atmosphere after reaching home wasnt too gr8 either... I did feel a bit guilty n damn sad that ppl who were so close to me were sad... i wasnt sure whether i wanted them to cry... but laugh?? or just b normal afterall?! i was a bit confused...

Suddenly I heard a familiar voice saying something loud... i turned around to find one of my favorite uncles calling my family, close friends, ppl who gave me work n ppl who worked under me who were assembled there to say a few words about who i was as a person n how ive affected their lives... something reflective!

I was waiting eagerly to listen to all of em... since it was gonna be the final speech, i did expect quite a lot of things to b said... but wait!!!!! was i even deserving to come up to my own expectations when i walked on planet earth? everything that i want these ppl to say... have i ever lived upto to my own expectations right now to make them say all that in their final personal testimony to me!?... this was gonna b the result of the so called examination ive written in my life from day 1...

i was waiting...

blank!!!!

It was dark... i was lying on my bed... i was wide awake n it took me a minute to realize that it was all just a dream...

I actually felt quite cheated... how would it b if there is a power shut down right before u reach the climax scene of an awesome grippin movie!?

While i was re running this dream in my head, i did realize something... it was kinda eerily similar to that Christmas story where this miser guy will b visited by the spirits of present, past n the future in his dream n how that changes his life forever!

Mine was kinda similar (though am no miser n Christmas is a long way to go!)

I know i would have to die someday n there is no escape wat so ever... i know i would definitely reach that point in my life... or do we say 'after' life!?... when ill get to know wat kind of a person ive been... though am not sure whether id b comprehending the situation like how i did in my dream, i know i would definitely be around somewhere that time...

I just wanna start working towards wat i would want all of them to talk that day... my family i had made my life with... my friends i had shared my life with... wat i was like to the person i worked for... wat i was to that person who worked for me... wat all i would expect them to say n share... was i kind? was i fair? was i fun to b around? was i efficient? was i dependable? have i ever been there when they really wanted me to b? even if i was, did i make a difference? how did i touch their lives?! or did i???

All those questions were like kinda building a future that i dont have a hold on right now, but workable indeed with my present...

Frankly, it doesnt even thrill me when i think who'll 'cry' when i die! i just wanna ensure 'wat' made those ppl cry... did i manage to leave a legacy behind for all that oxygen i inhaled, for all that space i occupied n more importantly... for all that time i spent here with ppl n profession...
just my presence that could b felt even after my death...

I dont want ppl cryin when i die, a knowing smile when my thought crosses would speak volumes!

Kaiyai chudum yendraalum
theeyai thodum pillai pol
unaiiye meendum ninaikkiren